Time to read: 11 minutes
In this week’s newsletter:
The Timbit Times
Kate Film Club, 8 of 52: “Alice Adams”
Kate Film Club, 9 of 52: “Sylvia Scarlett”
French Study
My Year of Ne’er-do-well-ism
I missed last week’s newsletter since I was in an even worse patch, but I did at least still get last week’s movie watched! So that means you’re in for a Katharine Hepburn movie review double header this week. As for reading, I anticipated at the beginning of this year when I was setting my goals that my reading goal was the most likely to suffer in the ups and downs of my illness, and this is definitely true at the moment. I didn’t get much read the week before this past one, and this past week I—instead of picking back up my planned reading schedule—have gravitated towards comfort reading. (March’s theme was going to be books on the internet and how tech has influenced modern culture.)
However, the comfort reading I’ve gravitated to is the Arsène Lupin book (in French) that I am still working my way through. So, on one hand, my larger weekly reading goal has taken a bit of a hit, but on the other hand—I might knock out my goal of finishing at least one book in French pretty early in 2024! I’m also just impressed that my language capabilities have gotten to the point where reading in French can actually be leisurely. That, in itself, is a big achievement unlocked. So I think my plan for March is to let my reading be wild and untamed, and see where that takes me.
In terms of symptoms, most days of the last couple weeks have been pretty trash, without any real hypotheses as to why. But interestingly, the last couple days have been…noticeably better on a couple specific axes. Mostly: cognitively feeling quite a bit more energetic and clear, and physically feeling slightly more energetic, even though I don’t think I can meaningfully increase my movement budget just yet. I started monolaurin a week and a half ago, at an incredibly tiny dose at first, increasing every two days a small amount. “Start low and go slow” is mast cell activation syndrome gospel. But a couple days ago I took a bigger jump, going from 1/8 of a scoop to almost a 1/4 scoop. (I need to work up to a full one.) So I’m wondering if perhaps that’s been the cause for improvement. Monolaurin is a supplement that my Lyme specialist wants me on before we trial antibiotics. It’s derived from coconut fat, specifically lauric acid (also found in breast milk), and acts as a broad-spectrum antimicrobial in the body.
But my illness is so random that really, two days in a row of improved symptoms is not yet a durable “improvement”. It could be random noise in the overall variation of my illness. So, I’ll be interested to see how I’m doing after another week at this increased monolaurin dose.
The Timbit Times
While out of my mind on an absolutely trash symptom day last weekend, I spent 3 hours scouring the internet for the perfect rug for my bathroom. It needed to match the fabric I’ve gotten for the curtain already, also match my towels, and fit in a decidedly non-standard-sized space. I probably looked at over a thousand photos of rugs. Until I found this lil guy! You’ll need to hover over the 2’3” x 3’9” option box to see what the small size will look like!, that’s the one I’m getting.
So I found this rug, and knew it would amazingly pull the room together, but I worried it wasn’t quite my personal style. I then slept on it for a few days, but couldn’t stop thinking about how cute the rug is, so decided to take a chance and buy it! I found a site that supposedly still had it in stock, but turns out it’s backordered until July. I’ll wait though; it will be so perfect in my space! (I have little dreams of trying to get my tiny home featured in some design or architecture magazine once I have it all set up the way I want—one of my more “out there” goals for 2024!)
Kate Film Club, 8 of 52:
“Alice Adams” (1935)
Last week’s movie (for which Katharine Hepburn earned an Oscar!) is about a working class young lady who is trying to be part of the well-to-do social crowd in her town, but is mostly stymied by her family’s lack of money. When an eligible suitor takes an interest in her, she pretends to be much better off than her family actually is, and eventually the airs she’s putting on are seen through. (Unfortunately, this being the 1930s, and a story with characters concerned about looking upper class and fancy, there are a few moments of racist comments. I’d be remiss to leave that un-noted.)
At first, this movie mostly had me dwelling on how terrible capitalism is. The despair was laid on pretty thick. (Why do we build societies this way?, why do we do this to ourselves?, why don’t we care how others are doing?, and other questions Kate will continue to autistically torture themselves with ad infinitum.) I also found Hepburn’s character somewhat insufferable most of the movie. I tend to dislike shows where a character is lying about who they are—you know it’s all going to come crumbling down at some point, and that’s stressful! But then we got to see a couple of other sparring characters authentically begin to repair their relationship and man, I love that stuff. I’m always rooting for redemption. Lastly, the romantic interest gentleman was sort of two-dimensional and just functioned as eye candy, which was fine by me. I don’t know if it’s just the old Hollywood glow or if everyone looks better in black and white filmography or what, but I’m here for it.
Rating: No rating this week. Doesn’t feel right to be business as normal for a movie with such outdated treatment of race. (Even if it was ‘just’ at a few points in the movie, it was enough to be jarring to me personally.) I still think it’s an interesting movie worth watching for classic Hollywood buffs.
Where to watch: This one you can rent on Apple or Amazon. (I’m guessing because Hepburn earned an Oscar nomination for it? Even though I found her character insufferable, I admit it was a skillfully-acted insufferable character!)
Quote: “Well, I guess I was selfish and forgetful. But it’s never too late to mend.”
Kate Film Club, 9 of 52:
“Sylvia Scarlett” (1935)
This movie was a whole journey, folks. Where to start… Katharine Hepburn plays the daughter of a just-widowed husband who’s worried his dubious financial dealings will come to light in the aftermath of his wife’s death. He decides to flee France for London, and Hepburn goes with him, but disguised as his son instead of his daughter. I forget why they decided that was the best option (by the time the movie was done I felt I had watched three movies), but anyway, off we went. And let me tell you: Katharine Hepburn playing a young man will bring up all sorts of queer gender feelings. A true gateway bisexual icon for the 1930s…had the 1930s been ready for such a character.
The Wikipedia page will clue you in fully, but the gist is that at the time, audiences didn’t really know what to do with such a movie: “After a disastrous test screening, Cukor and Hepburn reportedly begged producer Pandro Berman to shelve the picture if they agreed to make their next film for free.” Hepburn then became known as “box office poison” (!!), from which she would only recover a few years later. (That is, when she personally acquired the rights to “The Philadelphia Story” and sold them on the condition that she star in it.) How much this disaster was due to the ahead-of-its-times themes of gender and how much was due to the fact the plot itself is sort of all over the place, is hard to say exactly. Maybe both.
“Sylvia Scarlett” eventually ends up being a romantic comedy, I suppose you could say, but mostly I found myself repeatedly exclaiming “what even is happening?!”—although more often in a good way than bad way. (My notes included: “this movie is totes unhinged”, “this is a fucking weird scene lol”, and “this movie is hijinks on top of hijinks”.) Also Cary Grant is in it, playing a two-bit con artist with a Cockney accent, which is plain good fun. There’s just a lot going on, it’s delightfully weird, and I definitely recommend watching it if you like slightly campy, queer good times.
Rating: 4/5. I’m not sure it would hold up to a rewatch, but it was fun enough the first time through. I enjoyed this more than some other of her movies so far!
Where to watch: Streaming on Apple or Amazon.
Quote: “I know what it is that gives me a queer feeling when I look at you…there’s something in you to be painted.”
French Study
I got my DELF appointment date! If you recall, there’s the main part of the test (reading, writing, listening), that you take in a big group, then there’s a speaking part of the test that you take in an individual appointment. At first I was worried I was going to have to choose between starting doxycycline or taking this test, but it’s looking like I’ll only be able to start doxycycline later in March anyway, so the timing might work itself out just fine. If my current mini upward trend becomes a real upward trend, well, I might actually be able to sit for the test! On verra. Main test is on March 19, and my oral production section will be on March 20.
I also resumed watching my regular game show (“Questions pour un champion”) last week. I hadn’t watched any in about a month since I’d been worse. Surprisingly I haven’t missed a beat in my learning; listening is even easier than I remember it being as recently as a few weeks ago. (Is this also perhaps a sign of improved cognitive energy?) Even with the very fast speaking in some timed rounds, I’m still catching, say, 75-80% of what’s going on. I’m so proud that even with my illness—sometimes being able to study more and sometimes less—I’ve still eked out enough study over the past few years to be in a completely different place with my skills than when I started.
There’s a quote from Stephen King’s book “On Writing”, about needing to learn to read in small sips (like in a waiting room for an appointment) as well as big gulps. I’ve taken that to heart with my language study, and over the long run, it’s paid off. With each new language learning milestone, I’m so very happy. My illness is familiarizing me with the sort of deep, durable victories that there are no grand shortcuts for, for which the only available path is dedicated little bits of work, repeated over long periods of time.
My Year of Ne’er-do-well-ism
A difficult talk therapy session last week inspired me to actually get most of a “Date Me, Maybe?” doc written. I had been wondering what the heck to even include in such a thing—I didn’t want it to just read like a resume, an on-paper accounting of who I am. (Although, there will be a little bit of that.) But I wanted to get at the heart of what I’m looking for, in a small enough amount of text that people will actually bother reading it. I think I hit on a clever way to express compatibility and I’m excited to get a few friend’s takes on it before asking folks to share it with their single friends.
I know what I’m doing is weird, but thanks to the autism, I don’t really care. I think it’s a good idea! Someone who would be good for me as a partner would also think it’s a good idea.
Kate Violette 